So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You were trust falling into bushes
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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