Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
