Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
