and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
