He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
