I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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