Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
