Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
