Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
