Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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