Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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