How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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