so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
