my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
