I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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