you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize