youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
