Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
