thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
