Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize