So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
