I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
