Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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