Only a mothe r could love this liver
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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