I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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