Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
