id be glad to
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
