I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
