The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
