Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
