Cold hands, warm shart.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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