I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
