...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
