Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
