Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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