You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
