Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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