My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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