Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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