If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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