My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
