I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
