We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize