She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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