dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize