If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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