The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I could fuck to npr.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
