its not stalking. its research.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
