He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
