I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
