I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
