so explain again why im purple
no
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He kissed a someone with a penis
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize