Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
