so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
And then he peed in my hair
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