im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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