Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
