And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
