grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This girl is more easily done than said...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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