Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
