I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
