I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize