I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
