i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
