i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize