Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
